Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
