I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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