im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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