Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
