So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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