I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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