So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize