Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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