Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
