; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I wannas sexs uuuuu
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
