We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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