Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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