I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize