he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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