Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Less talking, more tequila
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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