I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
