That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Randomize
