I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize