whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
