hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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