if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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