Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
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WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
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Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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