New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
As shirtless as possible
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
