WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
she looked like the before picture.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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