You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
