I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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