Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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