those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
