How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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