sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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