I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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