Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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