Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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