I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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