we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
