dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
