Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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