This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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