YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
