you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
why is half of my head shaved?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
