I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize