Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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