I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
