I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
