What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
