i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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