If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
