Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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