just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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