I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
