I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
