Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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