He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
