i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
