that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
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