Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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