i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize